Bad Dating Habits that Might Cost You Another Heartbreak this Year
Many people don’t even realize they made this mistake
“Why the hell do I keep falling for the wrong guy? What’s wrong with me?”
I was frustrated. For years, I hated myself for deleting dating apps this week and reinstalling them again next week.
How’s the cycle gonna end?
It took me forever to realize the answer to those questions was simply to change my dating habits.
Yes, taking responsibility for our problems isn’t cute or comfortable but it’s necessary if you want real growth.
Here are some of those bad dating habits you need to get rid of:
Texting/calling the other person too much
People like to romanticize the “love-bombing” term.
It’s a dating term where you give too much attention to someone you just met. But we all know it’ll fade away in a matter of weeks or a couple of months.
Whether you’re the one who likes doing this or the person on the receiving end, love-bombing is never a solution to finding the right partner.
While you may be able to make someone like you back with all the nonstop texting/calling, a healthy relationship needs a more stable but constant effort.
So next time you like someone from a dating App, refrain from reaching out to them intensively and aim for stable communication instead.
There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow.
Not being selective enough
“To build a long-term relationship, you need to depend on practical sense too — not just your lovey-dovey feelings.”
It’s nice to be wanted and adored by someone that we also find attractive.
But if you want to build a long-term relationship, you need to depend on practical sense too — not just your lovey-dovey feelings.
People with attachment issues tend to make this exact mistake. They aren’t being selective enough.
They pick whoever first gives them the attention. Only later they’d realize they didn’t choose someone who actually loves them for who they’re.
It’s all based on quick infatuation.
If you feel guilty for having what other people see as high standards, don’t. It’s easier to stick with your boundaries when you know your worth.
This then leads me to the next habit…
Over-compromising your values and needs
This is a habit where you prioritize others’ needs before your own. You aren’t only compromising but over-compromising in the hope of… well, to be loved.
Some examples:
You’re someone who needs some alone time but your partner wants to be together all the time, so you keep saying “yes” and never take some time off for yourself.
You always listen to your partner’s rambles and vents but they never do — yet you never bring it up because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings
You aren’t ready for a marriage and kids but nod anyway when asked because you don’t want to lose your partner
Those are obviously big examples of how someone compromises their values and needs in a relationship.
Even if yours don’t look like any of them, you still need to pay attention to the little things that go unsaid.
Thinking you always have many other options
Look, I have no problem with people who think they should never settle for a bad relationship because someone else can treat you better.
I’m all for it.
But I have an ick for those who keep thinking they have so many options that they’d rather keep looking than give their best shot at one relationship.
It’s a common dating habit that many singles now have.
They keep looking and looking for the most perfect one that they don’t realize they missed out on someone who actually has partner potential.
I mean, what’s the rush? Don’t let the FOMO get in your way.
If you find someone who genuinely cares about you, give it time and try to make the relationship work.
Only then when you know you’ve done your best, you’re free to move on and start a new one.
Being overly skeptical about love and relationships in general
A healthy relationship does exist. Rather than trying so hard to prove that no one’s gonna love you, why not think the other way around?
Complaining about that one guy who breaks your heart on social media won’t do you any good.
Please don’t be that person who tells anyone to not date just because you have one (or two) bad experiences.
People think it’s OK and all fun to be overly sceptical about romantic relationships. Some even shame those who are in a relationship.
But let’s admit that we all want to be loved and appreciated.
Having someone other than ourselves who also has our back in thick and thin can give your life a sense of meaning.
A healthy relationship does exist. Rather than trying so hard to prove that no one’s gonna love you, why not think the other way around?
All of us have at least one of those bad dating habits. It’s OK to admit that you aren’t perfect but you’re working on improving yourself to be better every day.
Here are practical things you can do:
Having a more positive mindset. Believe it deep down that you’re worthy of love and you deserve a good loving relationship just like everybody else.
You might have many options out there but it’s only when you choose to be with one person and commit, then you’ll keep searching forever.
Normalize the habit of communicating your needs before you commit to someone. The earlier, the better. If it turns out you aren’t on the same page, take it as a sign to move on fast rather than over-compromising again like you used to do.
Be more selective in choosing someone to be with. If that means you need more time to get to know them, let be it. There’s no point in rushing.
Avoid love-bombing someone no matter how much you like them. Focus on building a stable and long-term connection instead.